Flashing

I was supposed to be part of a flash mob today, but I was the only one that showed up. That was kind of awkward. On the plus side, I did make $20 in change from people that thought I was just a street performer.

It wasn't quite what I had envisioned, especially after the rehearsals. Dancing to Justin Beiber's "Baby" without the other 599 Beliebers made me look, I don't know, creepy.

I am now wondering if maybe I had the date wrong. It did always seem odd that it was on Easter Sunday, but I thought maybe that was just part of the whole spectacle. Probably should've texted someone.

Speaking of Easter, maybe it's only after you have children that you think about these things, but who the heck decided that candy was part of Easter. By 8 a.m., my two sons had already eaten 50 jelly beans, the ears off of four different chocolate rabbits, seven peanut butter eggs, 12 marshmallow peeps and 27 malted milk ball eggs. Oh sure, I know what you're thinking - "Well, what kind of parent are you? Who lets their kids eat all of that?" Easy for you to say...once that first burst of sugar energy kicks in, I don't go near those kids. I go hide and wait for them to come crashing down. If that makes me a bad parent then so be it. Judge all you want.

But, really, where did the candy part come from? Of course, I could just look it up on Wikipedia, but I find it kind of curious that I don't know this. I know the story behind treats at Halloween. Maybe the Easter candy has some kind of similar pagan origin. I mean, I get the eggs and flowers and all the other stuff that amounts to birth, rebirth, circle of life and all of that. No idea what candy has to do with it.

Maybe it's one of those deals like fish on Friday. "Oh, from now on you can't eat meat on Friday," the Pope said. "Why, Your Excellency?," his staff asked. "Because I'm taking a bath on my fish mongering business. Now, get out there an push the halibut."

Perhaps at some point in history there was some swing away from eating candy. Maybe carrot sticks had just been discovered and they became such a snacking craze that candy shops and soda fountains were suddenly deserted and dropping like flies. Then someone started spreading a rumor that dessert at the Last Supper had involved a chocolate bunny and, viola, suddenly every sap around has to have one for his kid on Easter.

In any case, it's now just some big scam that leads to me spending way too much money and my kids bouncing up and down like Mexican jumping beans for the better part of two days. (On a side note, it must really suck to be a teacher the day after Easter and Halloween.)