Dog Jokes

The other day Marty was at the dining room table and said something about dog jokes. So, I gave him, "Why did the dog have to take a nap after chasing the truck?"

"He was tired?" Amy said.

"He was exhausted," I corrected.

I then told Marty the timeless classic about the guy that goes into the bar with a dog and says, "My dog can talk. Give me a drink and I'll prove it." The bartender pours him a drink and says, "Alright, let's see."

The guys looks at the dog and says, "What's on the top of a house?"

"Roof," says the dog.

"What's the opposite of smooth?," he prompts the dog.

"Rough," barks the dog.

"Who was the greatest baseball player in history?" he asks, with a wink towards the bartender.

"Ruth!" the dog says.

The bartender grabs them both by the collar and tosses them into the street. As the guy rubs his neck, the dog looks at him and says, "Maybe I should've said DiMaggio?"

Well, I just heard Marty repeating the joke...and he nailed it. Still has absolutely no idea who Joe DiMaggio is, and only sort of knows who Babe Ruth is because of an old advertising sign in our house, but he pronounced the name right.

That's my legacy to my son...teaching him hack comic jokes. Next I'm going to give him a routine about Ovaltine.

Someday, he'll be all set for the resurgence of the Catskills.