NPR

Is it wrong that one of my new goals in life is to be interviewed by National Public Radio. Not some little sound bite thing -- I've actually done that once before -- but a full on segment interview.

I know that some of my conservative friends have problems with NPR (to them -- for the record, I don't get to decide where my tax dollars go either, you know), but this isn't about any sort of ideology. As it happens, Amy frequently listens to NPR -- and she's a Republican -- and when I follow her as driver of a vehicle that's usually what's on. I have a tendency to not always notice what I've got on the car radio -- which is why I've occasionally gotten odd looks stop lights because my scan happened to stop on a Spanish language station -- so, I sometimes end up listening for a while.

The interviews, no matter who's conducting them, always end up reminding me of the Anna Gasteyer skits on Saturday Night Live. They're always understated and respectful...and nearly sleep inducing.

However, they also always make the artist or subject that they're interviewing seem much more important than they really are. That's the part that I'm shooting for. I'm not very important, so I could do with having someone make me sound more important than I am.

Besides which, there is no circumstance under which I would be interviewed by James Lipton on "Inside the Actor's Studio," so that would be the closest that I could come. Even if they don't ask me what my favorite swear word is, I'm sure that I would be able to sound appropriately pompous during an NPR interview.

I suppose that I need to do something suitably artistic or newsworthy to warrant the interview, but I'm sure that I can think of something. I'll be expecting a call from Diane Rehm's producer as soon as I do though.