Hacked!

When I woke up this morning and went to check my email account, I was greeted by page after page of undeliverable messages. It did not take a genius to realize quickly that I had been hacked.

Here’s the thing, I’ve had my same email account for more than 15 years. My address book has something like 2,000 addresses in it. I’m not particularly good at cleaning that out…which is part of the reason that I had so many of the spam messages returned to me.

I did find out that the message that went out from me apparently had something to do with “her pleasure.” (One of my female friends assured me that she didn’t need any assistance with her pleasure.)

Since I had to go to a meeting, Amy spent three hours trying to get that straightened out.

I guess I should be concerned about identity theft, but really, that’s not a concern. If you can do something better with my identity, feel free. So, long as you don’t mind people laughing at you if you want to do something with it.

I’m also not that worried that all of my friends and business acquaintances just got a perverted email message from me. Most of them are familiar with this kind of circumstance and, let’s face it, some of my friends are so used to getting sexual aid emails that they probably didn’t even notice it was from me.

No, my concern has more to do with the fact that my address book had the email address of every agent and producer that I’ve ever had anything to do with. Those people didn’t really want to get emails from me before. Now, I’m relegated to the spam folder. OK, OK, so I was probably relegated to the spam folder long before that, but now there’s an actual reason for it beyond just my marginal talent level.

Next time I’m trying to make contact to pitch a project, I’m going to have even less of a chance. Damn those hackers for ruining my not really successful writing career! They have cursed my career revival. Now, when agents and producers aren’t returning my calls, I’ll be left wondering if it was because of the spam…and not just because of their professed dislike of me.

So much damage from just one little penis enlargement email.