My older son, Marty, has a condition called Asperger Syndrome. It's kind of a high functioning autism that has started to gain more recognition. If you've watched television recently, one of the couples on "Parenthood" have a son with it and, while it's never mentioned, the son on "The Middle" basically fits the clinical description. That show even references the type of social skills class that Marty participates in at his school. It also got a lot of publicity when former baseball standout Curt Schilling -- who's kind of a loudmouth -- started talking about his son's diagnosis...or, I guess, more specifically started promoting his wife's book about it.
On the one hand, it's taxing as a parent to deal with any anomalies in your children. I think most of society still harbors a fear of being different. A lot of people give talk to not caring about that -- including me, since I've had people make the comment that I seem to care less about what people think of me more than anyone they've ever met -- but in reality, there's still that part of our genetic code that tries to get us to stick with the tribe. I think we're predisposed to fear any problem with our children, no matter what it is.
Now, Asperger's -- which I mispronounce and misspell on a regular basis -- really isn't the worst thing that your child can have. Heck, I would run out of room if I was to try to list every other possibility that would be worse.
The biggest issue with Asperger's is that Marty can be easily distracted, has trouble controlling his emotions and can be socially awkward.
On the plus side though, his mind functions in ways that other people's don't, which can lead to moments of great creativity. If you've read this blog, you've heard about Marty's movie pitches that he's still hoping to force his way into Nickelodeon's office to deliver. And, the social awkwardness can offer some unique insight into human interactions. He doesn't understand how things like conversations are supposed to work, so while it can be painful to watch at times...it can also lead to comedic moments as he misinterprets what the norm is supposed to be.
Of course, you don't always know when these things are going to come up. From August until March, I spend every Friday night covering first high school football and then basketball. In my absence, the rest of my family has a tradition of Friday "movie nights" where the boys get to eat dinner in the living room and have popcorn.
Well, with the end off my coverage responsibilites for the season, I ended up with a Friday night at home.
This caused Marty great consternation, because having me around changed the routine of the movie night. Initially, Marty had his mind set that I should have to go to the newspaper and spend my Friday night there whether they needed me or not. Then, he thought that I should just go any place...as long as it wasn't at home. Finally, there was progress made and I was going to be allowed to stay in the house, so long as I stayed completely out of site. In the end, the compromise was that I could stay...however, I had to pretend not to be home.
Oddly, even though I was trying to pretend not to be there, Marty was still allowed to ask me to grab him the bag of Doritos from the refrigerator or have me provide answers for his "Stack The States" app.
Of course, the truly fun part of all of this for me are the times that a professional is describing parts of Marty's diagnosis and I start getting glances from my wife. The ones where she seems to be noticing similarities between what they're talking about and me. Sure, I guess that on a certain level, my inability to stop myself from saying exactly what I'm thinking at all times can be seen as socially awkward I suppose. And, sure, I'm kind of easily distracted. And, I usually can't remember what someone was taking about 10 minutes ago, because I didn't really care what they were talking about...and it was 10 minutes ago.
All of that stuff seems perfectly normal to me, but if that's not your reality, man, well who am I to quibble. We're all on our own trip, man. (I also sometimes start channeling Dennis Hopper...but I'm not sure that really has anything to do with any sort of autistic condition).
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