It is quite possibe that I am the least handy person in the world. We're talking when I try to volunteer for Habitat for Humanity, not only do they tell me that I'm not needed, they hire extra security to make sure that I don't wander onto the construction site.
All of my male friends -- gay or otherwise -- are more handy than me, able to assemble things and fix lawn equipment and all of that. All of my female friends are more handy than me. My wife is more handy than me.
The biggest problem is that outside of comedy and sexual orientation, I have trouble doing anything straight. I can't saw straight, can't hammer a nail straight, can't screw straight (all right, get your mind out of the gutter).
The oddest thing, to me anyway, is that I've actually done quite a few things that, given my affliction, I probably shouldn't have. Back when you used to be able to do such things on cars more readily, I changed a variety of starters and alternators on a variety of rust buckets. With assistance, I've changed out both an engine and a transmission. I used to be proficient at taking apart and putting together office cubicles back when I worked at companies that liked to make departments move offices once a year. I've switched out electrical fixtures, installed ceiling fans and earthquake proofed an apartment.
You would think that at some point, something useful would've rubbed off on me. But, no, nothing. If anything I've gotten worse the older I've gotten, because now I'm not a prideful young man anymore. Now, I just admit from the start that I'm not good at things and find someone else to do it.
Sure, I guess that I could try to learn some of the things that I don't know...or try to learn how to do the things that I don't know how to do. Let's face it though, I'm not going to. At this point, its really only something to inspire me to be more successful.
That way, I can just hire the people to do stuff instead of trying to find people to do it for free.
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